A Very Merry Christmas

I know I have been horrible at posting. Of course, I have the best excuse in the book. You have two newborns and see how often you post. I digress...

This Holiday has been a unique experience. On one hand, I feel like I haven't had an opportunity to even get into the Christmas spirit. Immense fatigue, unpredictable hormones, and a healing body has inevitably put a few bumps and bruises into my holiday. But on the other hand, I feel that I have never had such a perfect understanding of the true Christmas Spirit.

Becoming a parent has changed my perspective on... well... just about everything. Besides not being able to leave the house without obsessing about my babies well-being to being overly cautious about... well... just about everything. Besides the diapers, spit up, baths, laundry, etc. My world-view has changed. It's rather hard to explain. Unfortunately, I seem to feel the evil and injustice in the world more acutely. However, I also seem to comprehend the power of love, innocence, service, and parenthood (amongst other powerful concepts) more vividly.

I think I might now better understand the love of our Father in Heaven to send his Son to Earth. I can't image giving up my child, but I can't image our lives if Heavenly Father hadn't given up His. Likewise, I can't comprehend the deep pain and suffering Christ experienced when He faced the greatest evils of this world. But I can better comprehend the love that He has for us.

A love I never really understood until now.

To think of this baby, so innocent and pure... like my babies. To think of this little one, so seemingly unprotected. Yet, this tiny baby that was born in a stable and laid in a manger had been tasked with the greatest of callings.

I wish my language, writing and grammar could correctly communicate that thoughts and feelings of my heart.

But just know that now as Christmas approaches I am starting to understand the power and beauty of the birth of Christ just a little bit more.

My favorite holiday carol...

What child is this, who, laid to rest,
On Mary's lap is sleeping?

Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,

While shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King,

Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:

Haste, haste to bring Him laud,

The Baby, the son of Mary.
So bring him incense, gold, and myrrh,
Come, peasant, king, to own him.

The King of kings salvation brings,

Let loving hearts enthrone him.
This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:

Haste, haste to bring Him laud,

The Baby, the son of Mary.
Raise, raise a song on high,

The virgin sings her lullaby

Joy, joy for Christ is born,

The baby, the Son of Mary.
This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:

Haste, haste to bring Him laud,

The Baby, the son of Mary.

My heart is full...

Meet my sweet, sweet girls. 

Who knew you could love someone so much.

When my innie became an outie and other strange happenings...

 That's right. Strange things are happening. 

10 Random Pregnancy Facts

1. My belly button is no longer recognizable

2. I currently have a 48in waist what!?!?

3. I can't roll over in bed without getting winded

4. I walk like I'm 90yrs old

5. My belly tends to be lopsided and moves at random

6.  I have a belly brace... like a back brace but to hold up my front.
How do men with big beer bellies manage?

7.  I live in my little brothers XL shirts and basketball shorts. We may be moving up to XXL soon

8.  I have to eat massive amounts of food a day but must follow a strict low-carb, no-sugar diet thanks to GD (gestational diabetes)

9. I average 4 baths a day... approx 8hrs a day average give or take. I'm a little waterlogged.

10. I had to borrow my grandpa's wheelchair for any activities outside the house.

And yet...

I'm so excited! Just a few weeks left!

...thank goodness.

Goal #71

Goal #71: Say "I love you" everyday for a year

Check... plus some. 

Happy 1st Anniversary 

to my very Hunky Husband!

It has been a wonderful 365 days! 

And with the exception of a few days that we were out of communication we nailed this goal on the head... without even trying. Amazing what happens when you are madly in love with someone. ;)

Last year I posted this online a few days before our wedding....

(I'm posting here for my records sake)

I LOVE this man! I am so excited to marry him in 3 days! He is one of the greatest blessings in my life. He is my better half. His wisdom and quiet confidence is a great strength to me. We talk openly and honestly with each other. We laugh... about everything. I love that he patiently waits for me to figure out I am wrong, especially because I think I'm always right. Just spending time with him somehow lightens my load. He is a good man, one of the best, and I get to marry him.

A year later I feel the same way.

I couldn't be more excited for the next 365+ days!

Goal #74: Mission Book

 Goal #74 Organize My Pictures

Ta Da...

My Mission Book!

It only took me... 2.5 years to get it done. ha ha

I figured if it wasn't done by the time the babies come then it was never going to get done.

Moments that change your life...

You know those moments. I had one. Well, technically I had two. 

These two...

They took my breath away. 

Literally. 

Those moments...

...when, all of a sudden, everything in your life makes sense. 

...when you know you were prepared for this moment exactly.

...when you realize how many dominoes were put in place for this precise result. 

It started when I fell in love with the sweetest boy on the block and talked him into marrying me (pretty much how it happened). We joked about how we were going to have twins because my maternal grandmother is a twin and my maternal great-grandmother is a twin. It was bound to come around again.

And then... 

The wonderful man who sealed us for Time and All Eternity in the Mount Timpanogos Temple reminded Nathanael that when he comes home from work and the twins have been running around destroying the house to be sure to love and serve his tired wife. 

And then...

After our sealing ceremony we stood gazing at the "eternity mirrors" in our sealing room and I pointed to one side and said "look the twins!"

And then...

Everyone gathered outside the temple discussing "our twins" when my sweet little sister innocently inquired why everyone was talking about her dream. She had just had a dream that she was helping babysit the twins.

And then...

A few months later we found out we were pregnant.

Pure joy.

And then...

A few weeks later I had a quiet sweet experience revealing the two little spirits there.

(I didn't totally believe it)

And then...

Nathanael and I just started referring to them as "them" and "babies" instead of "it" and "baby." My mother warned us that we might be disappointed if we kept referring to them like that but only ended up with one. ( I reassured her that I would be quite relieved.)

And then... 

We "April Fools" some family with this picture...

And then...

We went in for an ultrasound at 12 wks because of some unusual (and terrible!) pains.

And then we sent this one...

That first ultrasound was the most surreal moment of my life. The ultrasound tech (who had 14yr old twins) pulled up the sonogram and the first thing I see is a little membrane separating two little sacks. As she moved it over to find both babies she says, "Do you see what I see."

Yes, yes I do.

I have never been so "not surprised" and yet "totally shocked" at the same time. 

(Can you see the "totally shocked" on Nathanael's face?)

I kept telling the ultrasound tech that our families were not going to believe us. Really. And of course... they didn't. (LOVE my Father-in-law and brother in law's reactions!)

But now that they are here (well... coming here) I can't imagine life any other way. I know the Lord was preparing us early on for the possibility. (Probably so I wouldn't freak out.) I know these two little girls are supposed to come to our family.

I have had some tender experiences with family members on the other side of the veil, particularly my great grandmother and my great-great grandmother who were both mothers of twins. I know that we aren't alone and that we have a lot of support, here and there.

Moments that change your life.

Thought for the Day...

Welcome to the World Emmett!

 Goal #81: Develop my photography portfolio

I had the incredible opportunity of capturing my first birth story last month! Thank you Kiley and Danny for letting me experience your little miracle with you!

Here's a glimpse of Emmett's entrance to the world...

P.S. If you got to this point of the post leave me a comment! I'd love to know what you think or if you have any suggsestions, advice, or know anyone having a baby anytime soon. wink.

My "friend-in-law"

Goal #81 Develop my Photography Portfolio 

Meet Natalie. Although I think you already met... over here.

She is my "friend-in-law."

"Sister-in-law" just doesn't do it justice. 

"Friend" doesn't quite cover it all either. 

So we are "friends-in-law."

Either way, she is drop dead gorgeous and I'm happy about the fact that her genes will run in my children.

Of course, no photo shoot is complete without scaling the wall like spiderman.

Goal #29

Goal #29: Snowboard Confidently

This season, I decided "confidently" is a very subjective experience. While riding in the midst of my great snowboarding mentors it was a little more difficult to be confident. However, teaching my sister, husband, and brother-in-law all in the same day, I'll admit, greatly improved my confidence.

That sweet little face on the left was scared stiff. (She'd kill me if she knew I was putting this on here.) Let it be known... she rocked it by the end of the day.

My Friend the Owl

There is an owl that lives in the pines across from our apartment building. 

I love it. 

He has greeted me coming home from the gym several nights in a row now. I think we are becoming friends. I did some research and I've narrowed him down to one of two species.

Long Eared Owl

Asio Otus

Their song, heard from January or February to May, is a series of low monotonic hoots at three to five- second intervals. They are often found in southern Idaho, and are rare to see anywhere else in the state.

or...

Great Horned Owl

Bubo Virginianus

Their song is a mellow hooting “ho- ho-hoo hoo hoo” rather like a far-off foghorn or a distant mourning dove. In Idaho, great horned owls are common and widespread except at the very highest elevations. They frequent large trees for shelter (which would make those large pines across from my apt a perfect location).

Either one would really be spectacular to see. Until then... I'll settle for his late night chats.

(information found here)

In case I wasn't already baby hungry...

Goal #81: Develop my photography portfolio

So I'm finally getting my act together and I've started taking pictures again. On the down side... I am way out of practice. On the up side... I got to hang out with this sweetheart this afternoon. 

Oh my goodness... melt my heart.

(still rough edits... don't judge to harshly)

 

I need a baby.